Monday, May 28, 2007

Adrift on the nile

Naguib Mahfouz writes sleek little existential dramas. Now I realise that I have already made the mistake of sounding extremely pseudo and really at this point in time I would do anything to avoid being so, considering this entire world around me seems in this crazy race to destroy themselves. What I mean is that, people in this world are just looking for reasons to ensure other people and, quite often themselves that their lives are worthless if Depression and morbid poetry is not a part of their everyday existence---with black nail polish and dollops of kohl on their eyelids( what the guys refer to as "emo") constituting must have accessories. Not to forget coke snorting which just takes "all the pain" away. What I personally fail to understand is this "pain"--- is it the pain of your parents not giving you enough pocket money or a girlfriend who refused to sleep with you or the pain of not having "this pain"--the ,what must seem, immense inability to feel the pain that ur peers so easily do, that inevitably pushes you towards yet again, this pain.

I dunno if its the book or association with vague people that has made me digress so much but lets get on with the point(which i have obviously forgotten by now..)

Last weekend I was at a friends place. Which led to me to a few observations. So i present them ala Mahyfouz style

Scenario for a play:

Characters involved

1. A silent invisible character lets call her Gangal: Usually observed( if you notice closely because this species takes special pleasure in playing dead) trying to hide in one corner of a medium sized room( without purpose, if you havent realised already).Takes immense pleasure when she is talked about by other visible people.. which is rarely so she takes lives for each moment. Usually mentioned in passing conversation when describing a silent invisible character or to make sure that this person is in fact not dead or has not disappeared.

Other purposes to this character include being used to sit upon by overweight or obese characters in Padmasan as an attempt to exert their superiority over such weaklings..

Usually used as rag dolls or as playthings or the Barbies we used to tear the heads off...

2. An overweight/obese character: Usually observed hogging a medium sized bed making it impossible for other normal sized people to be seated in comfort. So the other normal sized people are compelled to act like Palestininian refugees occupying one tiny little corner this medium sized bed. Usually this obese character-- lets call it "bhu" for purposes (both male and female) usually prides itself in its ability to prey on other creatures of the lost ark. Characterized by the presence of a mammoth earthquakish type laughter involving numerous rumblings of the voice and some more violent bed shaking and occasionally an emphatic Tarzan like chest thumping. Seen using their body weight as part of an elaborate Iron Maidenish torture mechanism---ask thin/invisible character for torture references. Usually the one on whom the joke is on.. although if the obese character(usually assumed to be fat headed as well) does realise it is on her, circumstances will be dire for anyone who remotely partook in the joke.
Other characteristics include an insatiable desire for sex and all things of the flesh( pun not intended) and musings about long lost navy men and bulldogs. Not excluding the evil eye on other boyfriends.

I have successfully managed to describe two of the extreme species.Allow me one more indiscretion for I shall keep you waiting for another post for the rest of the characters in my absurd play of errors... if anyone is listening albeit.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

George and the sorrow tree Part II

The eternal sorrow tree has grown a few new branches which is funny because spring is over and it technically shouldnt, but then i realise its mine to live with and bear throughout my life so I inadevertently do with it whatever I want to. That,somehow,didn't come out the way i had envisioned it to... anyhow let me introduce George to you...

George O' Malley lives in Seattle, is an intern at the Seattle Grace Hospital. He is hopelessly and adorably in love with Meredith Grey. While these characters maybe fictitious, they are around me whichever way I look. So what is so special about George O'Malley? Apart from the fact that he is Irish, which sort of gives him the right to have just the deepest, bluest and most forgiving eyes in the world. While to most people he is not good looking, but the loser who takes everyone's shit, to me he adds a dimension which was previously unexplored by me----Depression

Surprised by the choice of vocabulary...well if you knew me well enough you would know... you would know how much it hurts to know I can never have him and that he exists only on ABC and Star World and that he exists for only one day in a week and that he exists only as a creation of Shonda Rhimes and some women like me... and what adds further to the ever evolving sorrow tree is the fact that he is essayed by someone who is gay in his real life...

Whereas my obsession with George extends as far as his character goes( or where i imagine it goes) the very fact that in real life he is not heterosexual just adds to my list of miseries. But then George being who he is makes my life better. Icy bitch Meredith Grey is a thing of the past now and now he has proved how truly magnanimous he is by going out with an overweight woman.. just gives us unfit women a tiny ray of hope and a tiny bit of chance of ever landing up with a guy as perfect as that... and as for Christina and her problems with George..well she handled them pretty well didnt she and yet at the end of it all you still fell in love with George all over again.....

Some people just have a way of doing that.

Monday, May 14, 2007

george and the eternal sorrow tree

if women were to ask themselves, Where have all the good men gone, they would have compiled something forty five times the size of the Bible, Lord of the Rings, or Wikipedia, for that matter. The truth of the matter is that all the good men are either taken or very very gay. I think the people who came up with the idea of Calcutta city of Joy must have thought of it as a very clever irony until people of this city, true to their nature took it to be true. So the species I observe around me fall into a few categories: the Made Its, the Want to Make its, the Havent Made its but trying oh so hard, the ones who think they have made it and the of course the ones who never will.
The Made its: Usually observed at social events waering the latests from their dad’s shop on Times Square, smoking or smoking up thanks to daddys ATM machine, which automatically grants them an undeniable right to legitimately do so) and if women throwing air kisses at the rest of us mortals.
The Want to Make its: observed trailing the Made Its pretending to be all chummy and trying very hard to extract their hearts deepest desires and a moment later this chameleon species is observed with another sharing the first’s deepest darkest desires in order to well try and climb the social ladder(as if there was a more noble purpose to all this...)
The Havent Made Its but trying oh so hard: usually observed trailing the Want to Make its who (very benevolently) give these people the "tips" to reach the Want to Make it status and pretend that that sort of honor is deserved only for a few lucky ones. so they say the road is very hard, very winded and requires giving up watever little self respect you ever had. so these species are usually noticed fetching cold drinks or smokes or vodka or on rare occasions condoms....
the Think They have made its are the worst of the lot: who think they are cool with a K, still think wearing Livestrongs is a good concept and will set them apart, dope bcoz its the new thing to do, and lech at women as if they have PSP's attached to their boobs. most men in Cal fall into this
and of course we end with the will nvr Make Its: I tend to quite predictably, identify wholeheartedly with this section of the public. atleast these people dont make and effort to be a part of the social circus in Calcutta and are defined by most other people as a "nerd", "dweeb", or simply "retards" but if thats the lowest it can go i accept it wholeheartedly... atleast it gets me George.
so who is George---- well he is wat has reduced me to my sorrow tree--its not really a tree but a figment of my colorful imagination--a place i run upto for security wen i realise all the good men Have Gone so who is George O'Malley---well he's from grey's Anatomy so he is in effect fictitious and a creation of Shonda Rhimes who i suspect is very much like me... and who is George O malley wait till the nxt blog to find out

Sunday, May 13, 2007

ahem ahem

what can you say about a girl who knew so little and yet said so much... all the time. forgive me, i am new to this sort of blatant self deprecation that people sometimes refer to as a blog. First of all, there is nothing i have to say to anyone or to the world that i already very emphatically dont, so i am very clueless really about what it is that i want to convey, but hopefully i will figure out soon enough. At the moment though it is generally the lack of anything better to do....
i was floating around a theory the other day about the problem with the entire world's population atleast 95% i think.... they just assume they are too hot to resist. i think for many people this must be a huge boost to self confidence or whatever but seriously the last couple of days i have looked into a mirror all i could think of was how much space i was consuming and if i moderately overweight took up that much space did i fit into the prosaic definition of Hot and since i did not, did i still perceive myself as being capable of oozing any sort of sensuality.... for me the answer a thundering NO but for the rest of the world not quite so. really thw whole world would be a better place if people started crediting themselves a little less for all the goodness and pradas and marc jacobs and jimmy choos and armanis in the world... it would be a better and more environmentally friendly for a whole lotta people